Such a trite title, especially given I feel it's just as important for my sons to understand the workings of the female body as it is my daughters.
I have a nearly 6yo daughter. Whilst her menarche is I hope a long way away yet, I've been thinking about how I felt about all the changes taking place in puberty and how/when to talk to my kids about it.
It's a little funny given that the older two were present for the birth of our baby! They can tell you all about how a baby is born but don't yet really know about how it is possible.
I remember feeling really embarassed talking about periods in my family growing up, and was mortified when mine arrived at age 13. I don't know why I felt that way, there was no secrecy about any of it, but I just found the whole thing a bit confusing and upsetting and terribly terribly private. In fact it's only since having children myself that I feel completely open to discussing menstruation.
I really want my children to see it as nothing more than another bodily process. Like giving birth. Like eating and drinking. We have no issues with nudity in our house, our bodies are what they are we have no reason to be ashamed of them.
So what I'd like to know is how did/would/will you address this with your children? What information is age appropriate for different stages of childhood? How did you feel about learning about and experiencing the onset of puberty?
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ohai! I'm Kate. I say stuff.
Posts
Needless to say I am DREADING this.
ReplyDeleteObviously once I had my son, I had the general discussion with my daughters that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
I'm hoping when they are older they'll just google the rest ;-)
I think if they ask questions you tell them whenever that is, otherwise just early enough for them to deal with things when they happen. I'm quite open about it (obviously!) as well, but I didn't find it strange growing up (although there was the "private" thing at first, given how mine evolved that soon became moot!).
ReplyDeleteObviously, I don't have kids. But I teach ages 5-18 at school and I get barraged with questions about puberty, sexuality, "what's normal" etc, from all ages! I am very clear (though carefully worded) with them because I suspect they are asking me because their parents haven't told them the parts they really want to know (yet). I try to just answer the question they are asking, though, when they are younger, rather than have a big discussion. But the girls I teach from about 11yo onward ask a LOT of things (I seriously don't know why they ask me, I guess cos I'm neither parent nor "teacher"). I believe in honesty, in being matter-of-fact and not making it a big deal. I get a few pregnancy scares in 14+ year olds which are a bit trickier but my girls all have questions about lots of things and I know that if they're asking, then they're ready to know (or at least to be given some ungraphic idea when they're young). I've even had to tell the school that I do it, in case something arises out of it, but they're supportive (comes with my job, it seems! Who'da thunk?).
In spite of this, I'm sure it'll be something I find different to deal with when it IS my own kids!
On the further-down-the-track issue of sexuality as something beyond reproductive purpose - I looked for answers, I read books, I listened to good ol' Dr Feelgood, and listened to you. Oh, yeah, and I read your diary. (um, sorry, you shoulda hidden it better). So I had a fair idea of how all that works and the health/safety/sensible aspect of it without mum having to say much.
ah this is one thing I've been pondering too....
ReplyDeleteWe've had discussion about the word 'sex' (with very limited it's what people do to make a baby response) but so far periods have not come up naturally in conversation but I am expecting they probably will when my cycle returns this time since the girls are older and more aware of others...
I so want it to be an open 'normal' kind of thing but like you, while my family were very option and forthcoming with info it still felt very private to me.... maybe it is supposed to be?? I love the idea of a celebration or something to mark the event but I would have been mortified at the thought when it happened to me, so not sure if I need to set a different culture now or whether it is personality or what.
I'm hoping someone with older girls will help me out by going through it first
I'm really honest with Tannah-but I answer her immediate question without going any further until she asks.
ReplyDeleteShe is learning all of the sex ed and puberty stuff in dribs and drabs rather than it being dropped on her all at once. It's all at her asking at this stage and I just answer her questions honestly.
I must say that watching nature docos is what sparks a lot of reproduction type questions so her David Attenborogh obsession has a lot to answer for lol