There's something going on with my big boy.
I spent this morning with the school psychologist having been trying to get my son 'in the system' since he was in Prep. She was lovely, very very thorough. I spent the better part of two hours with her talking about my concerns, about my boy's strengths and weaknesses, about the life he has lived so far.
She asked me about my pregnancy with him, and his birth. And the floodgates opened. I brought her to tears talking about the horrors of the month or so after his birth. Of losing my father-in-law suddenly within minutes of his birth. Of travelling to South Australia with a tiny newborn just weeks later when my Grandpa died. Of spending nights in hospital with my non-responsive baby with suspected (but later proven not to be) meningitis. Of watching him have a lumbar puncture and being horrified myself, but he was too sick to even cry in protest.
Even now looking back it's like a b-grade movie. Something that happened to someone else. But the long term implications are undeniable in terms of the mental health of our family and I need to know my boy will be supported and respected despite his challenges as he grows up.
I also need him to know NOW that seeking help when your 'brain is sick' is not just okay, it's as important as seeing a GP when your body is sick. I can't make anyone else seek the help they need, but I can lead by example. It's time to seek better support for me to. To stop being the packhorse of everyone's emotion and start sharing the load.
Anyway my big boy will have a cognitive assessment next week, and a few weeks after we'll look at the assessment and figure out our best way forward with him to help his anxiety and stress issues.
It's hard when there is *something* wrong but no easy diagnosis or way to address it. I just hope we can give him strategies to employ when it all gets too much for him, and try to help him build a healthy self esteem.
Parenting. Never boring.