Monday, January 28, 2013

Bogans and their brethren.

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I am a bogan.

I embrace it. I revel in it. I likely horrify my mother with it.

When I was at school bogan was a very insulting word, but like many words I feel the meaning has changed a lot in the (many many) intervening years.

Probably we have Kath and Kim to thank to a great extent.

But to me there are varying levels of boganimity. Let me explain.

The Bogue / Cashed Up Bogan (CUB):

The middle-class upper echelon of the bogan ladder. This bogan has a degree of education and can throw around words like echelon. They can mix with the mighty if they feel so inclined, but they'd rather be having a beer and a barbie than a lovely glass of wine at a posh restaurant.

The bogue will happily refer to the non bogues as posh.

The CUB/bogue has a decent disposable income as evidenced by the car they drive, their jetskis/boat/motorbikes and their presentation. At a glance the CUB/bogue can be mistaken for a non-bogan. This is due to the fact that they dress well, have their hair done at the hairdresser regularly and present nicely. What you don't see is the pack of ciggies hidden in the car. You probably aren't exposed to the impressive vocabulary that encompasses all manner of creative swearwords, unless you are within the bogue's inner circle. In which case congratulations, you are a bogue as well.


The Standard Bogan:

This is the character that once encompassed all levels of bogandom. That oft caricatured trackie dacked, ugg booted, heavily tattoed dude in line at Centrelink.

The key differences between the bogue and the standard bogan are evidenced by the public swearing and the Winnie blues in the shirt sleeve.

But beware before you judge. It is a fine line between the CUB and the SB. Appearances can be deceiving and these groups can shift status back and forth quite quickly.

Beneath many a full upper body tattoo beats a heart of gold, you may just need to look harder to find it.


The Feral Bogan:

The Feral Bogan is in a league of their own. These are the drug dealing next door neighbours who are shattered they can't send their 5 year old to the shops to buy their smokes.

Beware the Feral Bogan, for s/he is capable of acts of aggression that would make a CUB cringe. These can include but are not limited to: slashing your car tyres the day your baby is born (true story), lining your child up on the nature strip and accelerating the car at them (true story), swearing and throwing things at your young children (true story).

If you ever have the misfortune of living beside a feral bogan you will know about it very quickly. The numerous calls to police due to domestic disputes are a giveaway, as is the need to sell your house and move away before your property value drops.

All bogans are not created equal. Whilst the feral bogan gives all others a bad name, the everyday bogan may well be a diamond in the rough so be sure you've indentified correctly before befriending them or running for cover.