Tuesday, October 25, 2016


I keep thinking of things to write about between weekly pregnancy updates then not doing it.

Part of that is because having once had a big blustery commercial blog I'm loving this sweet little pared down version that really only appeals to people who know us I think, and because it is a sweet little pared down personal blog I have no compulsion to be 'doing it right' or worrying about how often I post or any of that other stuff. I'm just tinkering around having fun in between my real life and that suits me pretty great right now.

So 27 weeks. It's like my body read the guidebook on pregnancy and went third trimester hey? Lets see how many ways we can make this uncomfortable. And there are lots of ways. Many many ways.

Zoey and I recorded episode 28 of the Operation Move podcast this morning and we were talking a bit about ways to love your body right now how it is instead of spending your days thinking about when you reach goal weight, or when you hit that PB, or when you look like someone else, or in my case after the baby comes. It's way easier said than done though, especially when you're dealing with physical discomfort or even pain. I'm working on it constantly. I love watching my belly bounce and pop, and I feel like I look pretty normal for a 27 week pregnant 40 year old woman. In that sense it's all good. But the increasing SPD pain, the inability to walk very much like I was a few weeks ago and the arrhythmia can pretty much get stuffed.

I'm caught in this weird thought cycle of 'oh I never imagined I'd be doing this again, and what a huge blessing, and I can't wait to meet her' interspersed with 'OH FFS OUCH THAT HURTS'. Fun times.

I read a thing this morning that said pregnancy past the age of 35 is like going to war with your body. And while I think women should have babies whenever and however they like and are able to, having had four babies before I was 35 and being 40 now I am feeling every single minute of my age. I'll be doing something and suddenly find myself lying down. It's like my bed is magnetic and I cannot resist. I could sleep for 12 hours (hahaha no I couldn't I have four kids) and it would not be enough.

What I AM feeling super grateful for already is that fiance (still getting used to that!) will have a fortnight of paternity leave when she is born and we can start as we mean to go on in this new parenting chapter in terms of equality and partnership, both in how we raise and care for our little girl, and in terms of keeping our big, busy household running. It's how we work already, and I don't ever take it for granted. I can't wait for this baby to become part of our everyday lives. And get out of my body. That will be great.

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