With parenting you never know what’s around the corner. I’ve been a parent for close to 20 years now and still I’m surprised sometimes when my kids come up to me with their blunders and proclamations. Still I’ve been told that I’ve got quite a bit of insight in parenting and being a mom, so I’m here to share that with the world.
Welcome to Kate Says Stuff
My name is Kathrine Gilbert, but my friends call me Katey or Kate. I’m a mother of three, housewife, self-declared fitness nut and public speaker on the topic of child rearing. As a mother of three teenagers, 2 boys and a girl, I’m familiar with all the ups and downs of parenthood in these modern times. In my circle of friends I’ve been known to be the one that gives helpful advice. Me giving advice to people is how I ended up starting this website and my side-business of public speaking. I never dreamt that one day I’ll be doing this gig, but here I am, doing it.
Journey that got me to this point in life started almost 20 years now. That’s when I met my husband Ryan. Soon after we first met, like 6 months soon, we got married and along came John, our oldest. Then came George, or as we like to call him, the “middle one”. Last to the party was Carrie, our youngest. These three are our pride and joy. Raising them caused me a lot of joy, but a lot of heartache as well, if I’m being honest. I try to be a cool and hip mom, keep my kids first healthy, then interested in learning, playing and just enjoying life in general. Some days we go down to the park, for a walk. I enjoy the walk, while the kids hunt for pokemons, play around with their remote controlled UAVs under $500 or eat ice cream. Yes, I’m not some sort of over the top health nut, my kids are allowed small amounts of junk food ever now and then. Trick is to know how to say no when they start demanding more than what they should be eating it. That’s pretty much all I can say about me in so many words. Read the rest of the website to find out more, 😉 .
Books I like
Books are a favorite pass time of mine. Kids are now getting older, my kids that is, and they no longer need me keeping an eye on them at all times. This opens up free time for me to enjoy books and I gotta say that I like that quite a bit, 🙂 . I still enjoy spending time with my kids, don’t get me wrong, but I also enjoy my “me time”. From time to time I’m going to be making a recommendation on parenting books that I deem useful. Here’s three that are a favorite of mine and which I think every parent in the making should read. Soon I’ll be adding more, once I pick and choose which books I think should be featured here. Not all the books I come across are that good I’m afraid, and I don’t want to waste your time with books that have very little or nothing to offer. Stay tuned for more interesting books from me.
Mind in the making
I really like the scientific approach to giving parenting advice that can be found “Mind In The Making”. Ellen Galinsky, the book author, offers simplified explanations of the latest research in the field of child brain development. Book has great tips for raising kids ages 1-5.
Smart parenting for smart kids
Smart Parenting for Smart Kids is a book that offers a more general advice on how to help kids develop their social skills, build connections with people, find motivation to do tasks at hand, etc. Everything that you need to know to get on the right track as a parent can be found here.
Einsteing never used flash cards
Hirsh-Pasek and Michnik, the dynamic author duo behind Einsten Never Used Flashcards are a couple of psychologists who take a stab at giving alternative parenting advice. They are offering methods on how to teach kids through fun activities, instead of formal, structured learning that we’ve used to.
The parenting gig
My website is a place where I’ll mostly be talking about my experiences of being a mother. That is what my public speaking revolves around after all. Young parents in todays world really have it bad. Kids seem to be more and more demanding. Not just in the sense that raising kids is more expensive due to economic factors like higher costs of living, inflation, unemployment, etc. Kids sure are more demanding in that sense as well, but when I say that todays kids are getting more and more demanding, I’m talking in the sense that they are seem to be having an endless wish lists of things they want. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing that we live in what I like to refer as the “age of plenty”, but you have to admit that a frighteningly large number of kids are an enormous drain on their parent when it come to their constantly wanting more and not being happy with what they already have.
Adults do it to, don’t get me wrong, but they can at least provide for themselves, or at the very least they should be able to do that. Should they not be able to acquire what they want, adults have themselves to blame. Kids on the other hand blame their parents, they act out, become rebellious, then the parents are under stress, etc. It is a vicious cycle that many people don’t know how to get out of. That is where I come in. Some people find a way out by giving in, others by becoming strict parents that always say no. It is a mess of a situation, but I try to help people find some middle ground with their children. Finding the middle ground, and then staying there, is a tedious task, that takes a fine mix of bargaining, giving in, being strict, depending on the situation. It takes listening your kid. When they want something, pause for a moment and think about what he wants. If it’s something like a RC drone with HD camera, which has lots of learning potential for the kid, then you should buy it. On the other hand if the little one wants a new what I call “throwaway game” when he or she already has a whole piles of them, then it stands to reason to say a big firm NO.
Being tactical like that is very important if you want to raise kids who won’t grow up with an overgrown sense of entitlement. It is a tricky thing to do, because parents are buying peace and quite around the house with toys and what not. After all, your kids won’t be nagging on you if you just give in and get them what they want. That is a big NO, NO in my book. Everything your kid want, every little toy needs to go through what I call a “vetting process”. To determine what kind of influence the toy will have on the kids development. That’s just one of the strategies in my approach to parenting. I’ll stop now and talk more about these issues in the upcoming articles, so stay tuned.
“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.”
Three pieces of advice for new moms
They start young
Kids will start learning at a very young age. Mistake that many parents make is they think that their kid will start soaking in lessons 3-4 years old and older. Truth is, kids start forming their behaviour at several months old. They do this by watching their parents, how they behave towards them, towards each other. Moms, be careful around your little ones. They are watching you, even if you don’t think they are.
Permissiveness at a minimum
Permissiveness should be kept at a minimum with kids. This ties into the previous piece of advice about kids learning from a young age. For example, should you start giving in with comfort food, sweets, candy and such, when they want it, they will stop eating healthy and you’ll have a hard time getting them to eat healthy later on in life. Same thing goes for doing school work, house chores, etc.
Patience is key when raising kids. Moms, both existing and soon-to-be-moms, should know this fact and take it to heart. Kids will test your patience in ways that you can’t even imagine. It’s important that you plough through the bad moments and you don’t hold it against kids when they act out. That is what kids do, they act out, it’s their things. It’s nothing personal and you have to know that.
Today I got a very unsettling message from a person who isn’t quite happy with one of the things that I said on the homepage. What “triggered” them was me saying that parents should keep permissiveness at a minimum when dealing with kids. In other words………
It’s difficult nowadays to get kids to eat healthy. It seems as though everything in our society has been saturated with sugar. Kids are getting addicted to it left and right. What’s even worse…
DesignMom is a website where I get all my ideas for various arts & crafts projects that I do. Gabrielle, the mommy behind DesignMom.com, has some great insights in how to achieve balance between work life and family life. Great source for info and inspiration.
Cherish365.com is the homepage of Jennifer Borget, a full time mom that has been busy with giving advice on relationships, her pregnancies and our course her journey through motherhood up until now. She talks about a VERY wide selection of topic from mommy advice to tech advice.
Beth Blecherman is the momma behind TechMamas.com website and she offers advice on how to live your life as a tech geek with kids. I’m sure there’s a lot of mommy out there who love to play with gadgets. I’ve come to love it through my kids and their drones, electric scooters and whatnot. Follow Beth if you’re a tech geek mom and would like o find advice on how to be a tech parent.
My speaking schedule is full for the foreseeable future. Sorry, I’m an in demand woman, 😉 . but if you want me to come to your event and talk about parenting, give a lecture on how to make kids more content with what they have, make them less demanding and in general, how to make them live a more happy and content life, then shoot me up a message. I’m a busy woman, between my family and my speaking engagements, so it might take some time to send a reply. Don’t hold it against me please. Thank you in advance for you patience and I look forward hearing from you.