Today I got a very unsettling message from a person who isn’t quite happy with one of the things that I said on the homepage. What “triggered” them was me saying that parents should keep permissiveness at a minimum when dealing with kids. In other words, what I was trying to say is that parents should learn to say no to their kids, at least sometimes. In the recent years more and more parents have been saying yes to every little request and that their kids have. This isn’t healthy and I think we should put a stop to this.
Parents should say no to kids more
I sort of understand where this angry email that I received is coming from. It’s probably someone who thinks that what I was referring to is some kind of super strict parenting regime where parents don’t allow their kids absolutely anything. That is not what I was talking about. You’re putting words into my mouth.
My advice would be to say no to things that parents usually say yes in order to get their kids to shut up. Things that qualify in this category include eating loads of unhealthy foods, watching TV or playing games pass bedtime, buying piles and piles of toys that they will hardly or ever play with, etc. Like I said, parents do this nowadays because it is just easier to say yes, get the kids what they want, and to get them to shut up, stop annoying them.
Kids grow accustomed to this type of behaviour, especially if the parents start doing it at an early age. As they grow older, they will have a hard time taking no as the answer, and they’ll start acting out, blaming their parents, the world, etc. Parents end up being stressed, kids resent them, and it’s bad, bad situation all around.
To think, all of this could have been avoided if the parents have just said a loud and firm NO to kids from time to time, when they were younger. By doing that, kids will learn the feeling of not being able to get everything you want, because lets face it, later on life, they’ll rarely be able to get everything they want. Few of us are lucky to be able to get everything we want. Hopefully this article clears up my stance. I’m not saying that “no” should be the norm, but a firm no from time to time will show the kids that there are some limits, and they will not be so unaccustomed to later on in life. I’ll send this article to the person who yelled at me, and hopefull they will be satisfied with my clarification. If not, who cares. I have the right to my opinion.